The Crow & the Butterfly
by The Pleasure Principle
Summary: A little goodbye between the Crow and his redbird. {Oneshot/s} {SongFics}
1. Crow and the Butterfly

_**This little story inspired by the song "Crow and the Butterfly" by Shinedown. I was pretty upset and sad after heard not Bamon is the endgame. I am so disappointed. The writer prefer let Damon end up alone than to make us happy.. So this is my goodbye for them. **_

_**I used Xander instead Zander because I like this better. :) **_

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_Little bird...little redbird...my sweet little redbird..._

Bonnie's eyes popped open. That was the eighth night that she woke up with the husky whisper of her vampire in her head. No, he is not her vampire. She has Xander. Thinking of Damon as her vampire is not right. Having his voice in her head is not right either. Despite her thoughts and feelings, she sat up quietly. She looked beside her to see Xander sleeping peacefully with his face that seemed so angelic. Angelic to the point where Bonnie couldn't help but smile. She leaned and kissed his cheek gently, making her long wavy curls caress his very muscular chest. She was lucky to have a man like him. Then why is she about to stand up, pick up her white velvet gown and open the window to someone who reminds her about the worst and the best time in her life again?

She sneaked out through the window; her heart gave a leap with every step as she approached. She took the handle and said a silent prayer in the hopes that Xander would be deaf for the time it takes her to leave the place without waking him up. A cold whiff touched her face as she managed to push the huge window up.

"You are beautiful. Like an angel." She heard his smooth voice and her heart melted with guilt and joy.

Bonnie closed her eyes for a few minutes and leaned her forehead against the ledge. "Please don't call me that." She whispered powerlessly and opened her eyes. Her huge warm brown eyes met his black ones and she felt their common past fill her mind fully. "Why are you here, Damon?" This was the first time that Damon showed up in human form. The other seven nights, he sat on an opposite branch like a crow. Now he balanced on the window sill. "May I come in?" His usually strong voice now was weak, barely noticeable. Bonnie glanced back over her shoulder towards her bed; this wasn't right, she is not like this. It's not fair with Xander but still she turned back and nodded her head slightly.

Damon silently landed on the parquet, so close their bodies touched. Bonnie unwillingly took a step back so as to not touch him but Damon stretched out his hand and smoothed away a red curl from her eyes while gently caressing Bonnie's face with shaking fingers. "You grew up." He whispered the words and watched every little detail of Bonnie's face like he wanted to memorize them or compare to the Bonnie whom he had known.

"Please answer me. Why are you here?" Bonnie repeated her question while trying to sound very confident. Damon pulled back his hand; a faint smile appeared on her soft lips. Bonnie remembered the bittersweet taste of his lips very well even after all this time.

"I'm here for you, Bonnie."

Bonnie shook her head tiredly. "What happened between us was 5 years ago. I'm not that naive little girl anymore."

"No, you are not. My baby bird became a woman." Bonnie heard a little hint of disappointment in his voice but she also heard more amazement.

"Yes, I am a woman." Bonnie slowly rolled her silver ring around her ring finger. Damon noticed this, gently took her hand and lifted up a little. "That's a nice ring you got there, but it's not your style. I would've chosen better. He doesn't know you the way I do." Bonnie had a feeling like the little Bonnie hitting the door of her heart wanted to come out. That Bonnie wanted to hug Damon and never let him go again. That Bonnie was more than happy to see him. She swallowed back her tears and looked back over her shoulder once again to check Xander. "He is my beloved fiancé and I do love him." She said and pulled away her shaking hand from the vampire's grip.

"I didn't say you don't love him." Damon took a slow step toward Bonnie and Bonnie stepped back again. They repeated this silent dance for a couple of times until Bonnie's back hit against the wardrobe. There was nowhere to run anymore. "He is not me." Damon gently stroked her chin, Bonnie fought not to close her eyes while staring at the black eyes without breaking.

"You're right. He is not you." To the sound of Bonnie's agreement, Damon smiled and leaned closer to kiss her soft lips. He dreamed about those honey-sweet lips for long years. He remembered the taste of her lips; it was like he tasted heaven every time. As he slowly leaned down, Bonnie stayed motionless. When their lips almost touched, Bonnie spoke. "He had chosen me." Damon halted and pulled away. Bonnie's voice broke a little as she tried to fight back her tears. "All those years...I was there Damon. I was always there for you. I know I was a stupid little girl but I did care for you. I know you cared for me as well but you never tried to show it. I was really confused. You used to kiss me...protect me...carry me... and still, you wanted Elena. I was never mad with you because I understood your feelings towards her but I knew you had feelings for me as well so I had hoped that eventually, you would choose me. As it turns out, you had chosen her. I was broken but Xander found me. He made me happy. He _makes_ me happy. I'm really sorry that Elena didn't choose you. You deserve someone who truly loves you and I hope you will find that someone someday." Bonnie cleared her throat and blinked away the tears what burned her eyes. "And now, please go." She whispered and gently put her hand on Damon's chest to push him a little.

"You are the one that I want. I don't need anybody else just you." Damon put his hand on hers and didn't let her go.

"You left me Damon." Bonnie bit the corner of her lips; she doesn't want Damon to see her cry again. The little Bonnie inside her was already sobbing and wanted to find comfort between her vampire's arms. She didn't look into his eyes because she knew that it would be too much to bear so she stared at their hands instead.

"I only left because I wanted you to be happy. I wanted what I thought was best for you." Bonnie heard his voice choked up, she can't help but looked up on his watery eyes. "Then why are you here?"

"Because you're not happy, redbird. You can't be happy without me and I can't be happy without you." Damon tried to kiss her again but Bonnie didn't let him. "Then we will be unhappy forever." She whispered and stepped aside. She walked towards the window and stood beside it like a painful goodbye gesture. Damon didn't move. He looked at Bonnie pleadingly like his life depended on her. "Bonnie, please…"

Bonnie closed her eyes and turned her back on him, with her hands grabbing the ledge. She felt a little wind and a body against her back and then a whisper. "I love you baby bird." Damon's cold breath gave her chills; the soft kiss that he placed on her ear was so painful like a lunge to her heart. She slowly opened her eyes but didn't turn. "You would be here even if Elena had chosen you?" Her voice was so quiet that only a vampire would be able to hear. Her pain just grew bigger when the only answer what she got was the silence. She shook her head and stepped back a few steps. Damon stood in front of her for a few minutes; Bonnie knew that is their silent goodbye. She let him kiss her forehead before he jumped out and the darkness swallowed him for forever.

She closed the window and let her tears roll down on her cheek. She leaned her forehead against the glass. It was cool and this coolness felt really good. She had chosen well. She kept repeating this sentence until she finally believed it.

Damon watched as Bonnie closed the window. He saw her tears and he felt guilty for hurting her again. He didn't dare answer her again. Now when she can't see him, he looked into her lovely brown eyes and whispered the answer. "Yes, I would be here little redbird."


	2. Heart

**Hi guys, another sad one. sorry it seems I stuck on these kind of sad things. :) I hope you will like it. Song: Heart by Pretty Reckless. I just heard this song and -just like with the previous one- I had to write this. If you have any song idea, tell me and if I get inspired I turn your song into a oneshot. Maybe a happier one. :D anyways, thank you to be here again. :) **

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Bonnie stood by the big window as her gaze sank into the darkness that covered the silent streets outside. She rested her forehead on the cold glass, her eyes locked on a certain branch. It has been impossible for her to get sleep for a couple of days now. Anytime she finally manages to get a little sleep, she wakes up a few hours later only to feel the constant emptiness inside.

He had no right to come there. He had no right to say those things; he had no right to look at her that way. He had no right to say that he loves her but mostly he had no right to make her feel like she loves him even more than before. Finally, she had started to slowly forget him but now here he is back again and hopelessly ruining everything that she had achieved. This guilty love that she feels for him tears her heart apart.

Bonnie squeezed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she led out, her breath obscured her view as the glass started to steam up. She looked through the steamy window and her eyes became foggy, like a vision...

When her eyes cleared again, she found herself in the woods fully dressed in her deep green coat with her hood on. She walked between the trees and inhaled the fresh air deeply. These midnight walks helped her handle her feelings. At least that's what she tried to make herself believe.

Like every other time, she thought about Damon. Their past can't let her go. It was like an unbreakable curse she has to suffer by in every second of her life.

„That's not fair!" She cried out angrily and lifted her foot to kick a rock but her foot got caught by a root and she face planted onto the ground. She tried to pass on the fall with her hand but she got a deep cut through her palm caused by a sharp rock. She clenched her wrist in pain, led out the warm, dark blood drops out to the ground. She buried her face onto her arm, still lying on the ground. She didn't want to stand up because that was how she actually felt like. She didn't have strength to stand up.

As she lay on the ground, facing with the dirt and yellowed leaves she got lost into thought. She was thinking of memories that she wanted to forget a long time ago. She was in the woods just like now. She closed her eyes and squeezed her wounded hand until it stung immensely but it didn't help. The memories filled her mind anyway.

_' The snap of a twig exploded through her like gunfire._  
_She spun to face it, eyes and ears straining but there was only darkness and silence._  
_Fingers touched the back of her neck._  
_Bonnie whirled again almost falling, almost fainting. She was too frightened to scream. When she saw who it was, shock robbed all her senses and her muscles collapsed. She would have ended up in a heap on the ground if he hadn't caught her and held her straight._  
_"You look frightened," Damon said softly._  
_Bonnie shook her head. She didn't have the chance to regain her voice yet. She thought she might faint but she tried to pull away just the same._  
_He didn't tighten his grip but he didn't let go. Struggling did about as much good as trying to break a brick wall with bare hands. She gave up and tried to calm her breathing._  
_"Are you frightened of me?" Damon said. He smiled reprovingly, as if they shared a secret. "You don't need to be."_  
_How had Elena managed to deal with this? But Elena hadn't, of course, Bonnie realized._  
_Elena had succumbed to Damon in the end. Damon had won and had his way._  
_He released one of her arms to lightly trace the curve of her upper lip. "I suppose I should go away," he said, "and not scare you anymore. Is that what you want?"_  
_Like a rabbit with a snake, Bonnie thought. This is how the rabbit feels. Only I don't suppose he'll kill me. I might just die on my own, though. She felt as if her legs might melt away at any minute, as if she might collapse. There was warmth and a trembling inside her._  
_Think of something… fast. Those unfathomable black eyes were filling the universe now. She thought she could see stars inside them. Think. Quickly._  
_Elena wouldn't like it, she thought, just as his lips touched hers. Yes, that was it. But the problem was she didn't have the strength to say it. The warmth was growing, rushing out to all parts of her, from her fingertips to the soles of her feet. His lips were cool, like silk, but everything else was so warm. She didn't need to be afraid; she could just let go and float on this. Sweetness rushed through her… ' /L.J. Smith- Dark Reunion/_

A teardrop hit the ground at the same time with a drop of shiny blood.

"Please, don't cry for me."

Bonnie lifted her head up slowly and faced the black haired vampire. Damon looked down at her with so many emotions on his face that an average human wouldn't able to handle. He stretched out his hand towards Bonnie and Bonnie could see his tearful eyes that were the exact reflection of her own. She took his hand with her unwounded palm and let him help her get up.

They didn't let each other's hands go not even after Bonnie stood up. They stood like two ice statues in front of each other with unspoken words behind their eyes. Finally Damon lifted his hand up and carefully stroked Bonnie's cheek, almost afraid of the motion.

"I hate to see your tears. Especially when I know I was the one who caused them."

Bonnie didn't say a word although she knew Damon was waiting for her words. He desperately longed for her words yet she wasn't able to give what he needs. After a few minutes of silence, Damon looked disappointed and Bonnie felt his grip loosen a little so she squeezed his hand because she didn't want him to get away. "You were right." When she spoke up, her voice was husky and quiet but she knew Damon could hear it anyway. Damon's eyes lightened up and Bonnie saw some hope on them so she kept speaking. "I'm not happy. You were right. I can't be happy without you. I need you."

Damon nodded his head lightly like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Then he looked down and saw Bonnie's blood soaked shirt. He reached for her hand and lifted it carefully to take a closer look at it. "You're injured." He said then suddenly silenced. Bonnie looked at his face and tried to figure out what changed on it. Then suddenly it popped up. His eyes. His eyes became pitch black. Just like every time he senses…_blood_.

Bonnie gasped. She could only watch as Damon lifted her hand to his lips and she opened her clenched fists unwillingly making the deep wound on her palm fully explode. She held her breath and didn't dare to move; she waited for the pain but it never came. To her surprise, Damon turned her hand and softly kissed the back of her hand.

"You could never hurt me." Bonnie whispered and felt ashamed that she ever thought otherwise. Damon shook his head then suddenly bit his own wrist. At first, Bonnie didn't understand until he offered her his wrists.

"It will help heal the wound faster." He whispered and smiled at her warmly. Bonnie nodded her head and took his hand softly. She never wanted to know how the blood tasted like, she already got sick at the mere sight of it but somehow, this time was different. This time she looked at the two bloody spots on Damon's wrist like it was the most wonderful gift she has ever received.

She took two small gulps from Damon's sweet blood that somehow didn't taste as horrible as she thought it would be. She softly pulled her finger through the healing wound and placed a soft kiss on his skin. "Thank you." She whispered.

"You're welcome." Damon smiled and kissed Bonnie's forehead. He put his arm around her and sat down with her with their backs against an old oak tree.

It was just the two of them again. The Hunter and his Baby Bird, together against the world.

"You won't leave me again, will you?" Bonnie watched the decomposed leaves that covered the ground under them. Somehow she was afraid to look into Damon's eyes. She was afraid of their future and what she would see in those penetrating black eyes. Damon caressed her face and lifted her head up, "I will never leave you again. I can promise you that. All you have to do is ask."

Bonnie looked at him gratefully. She felt herself go back to being Bonnie the child. The weak one. The one whose knees became shaky if a certain vampire said something nice to her or even looked at her in a way that others wouldn't. She felt the little Bonnie but she didn't care. Moreover, she put her healed palm on the vampire's neck and kissed him softly like she had always wanted to do. She felt the cool lips again and the warmness filled her body from head to toe. This kiss was different than their first one. This was real and she wasn't frightened. Not anymore. She rested her head on Damon's chest and closed her eyes.

In the first moment, she felt his lips as he gently kissed her forehead and his protecting arms around her. After that, there comes the fog as if she had awoken from a dream and in the next moment, all she could see was painful intense darkness. She lifted her head up from the ground and sat up. She was once again in the woods alone. All by herself. She was seeking the darkness despairingly although she knew there was no point in doing so.

She cried out helplessly as the raw sadness escaped from her heart. She knew no one would hear her pain. She hugged her knees to her chest and bent her head down as she cried in a trembling voice. "Please, don't leave me."

She folded her arms around her knees tightly, clenched her arms into a tight hug in order to keep herself together. Those recurring dreams she seemed to be driving her crazy because she had no idea how long she was going to be able to handle it. She wanted to see him but she knew he was not there. She was the one who sent him away, that's her fault to suffering. She buried her head into her hands then in a span of a second, lifted up her head up. Something rough had scratched her skin.

She looked down and saw the pale scar right across her palm...

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**Thank you for the correction to randomlittleme. **


	3. Stay

**Hey Guys so first I don't really think this oneshot is very good..so I'll leave it for a week but maybe after that I'll delete it. Please tell me what do you think; like it or hate it..**

**Thank you for the song suggestions! Please, keep it going! Sadly I don't really like Tayler Swift or Lana del Ray but later I promise I'll give them a shot! :) **

**So song is: Rihanna-Stay**

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"I followed my heart." Bonnie stepped into the room; the wooden floor creaked under her feet. That was the only thing to remind Damon that she's a human and not an angelic creature that gently flies above the ground.

"My little redbird used to say things like that but you're clearly not my bird anymore." Damon smiled at the young witch with a sad smile which had more emphasis with the help of the firelight beside him.

Bonnie blankly watched as the flames casted a shadow on the vampire's pale face as she replied, "I'll always be your little redbird." She whispered the words when her brown eyes met with the black ones again. Damon got lost in her warm eyes to the point that he didn't even realize Bonnie standing right in front of him. He jerked a bit when he felt her soft fingers gently touch the back of his hand as she continued, "You don't need to hide from me." The delicate fingers slowly wandered up on his cold skin giving vibrant warmness to the long dead body.

Damon felt as the feeling -close to living- filled his body. He felt as if Bonnie was bringing life back to him. He watched this fragile creature with her firing red hair and huge brown eyes and all he wanted to do was cry out into tears of joy simply because she touched him. Simply because she's close to him.

Bonnie's thumb lightly caressed the vampire's bottom lip as she said, "I remember..." she didn't even get the chance to finish her sentence because she was starting to lean closer to him until she lightly kissed the vampire's trembling lips. "I'll be always your little redbird." She repeated.

Her hand slipped down to Damon's muscular chest and stopped on his side. Damon still wasn't able to believe what was happening but then again, Bonnie's lips were on his again. Her lips were on much longer than earlier so he could slowly relax, close his eyes and embrace this tender moment. Bonnie's hands took the edge of his black shirt and started to pull upwards. Damon came back from his brief state of shock where he was only the audience and let out a deep sigh escape from his lips. He let Bonnie pull the cloth through his head and for a moment, their eyes met. A faint smile appeared on the corner of their lips before they locked up again into a passionate kiss.

Damon took off Bonnie's long green coat and dropped it to the floor. He gently laid her down on the bed as he clearly remembered the first time he undressed her. That time he had almost lost her as well as the time he realized how important Bonnie was to him. She really did own a big place in his heart.

He placed soft kisses on the sensitive skin of her neck, on her collar bone and all the way down her chest as he unbuttoned her white dress. She really looked like an angel as she laid down with her eyes closed; her red curls surrounding her heart shaped face. His little bird. He bent over her and just watched her angelic face without touching her.

Bonnie opened her eyes and deeply looked into Damon's. For many years she has longed for him to look at her with the same eyes he's looking at her at the moment. She always wondered how it would feel like to be with him. Deep down inside, she has always known that he's a very gentle and caring guy and now, she confirms that she was right.

She lifted her arm up and caressed Damon's face. Her smile told him that she trusts him. Damon kissed her lovingly throughout her body as he slowly removed the white dress to uncover the same fragile body he had seen before. Bonnie didn't wear a bra so she looked so vulnerable in her white lace panties that Damon felt bad about what they were about to do but when he looked up at Bonnie to see her look of approval to proceed, he knew everything will be alright because she wants this, she wants _him_.

oooOOooo

Later they laid in the bed under the blanket in a tight hug. Damon tucked a red lock behind Bonnie's ear and softly kissed her forehead.

"I always wanted you to be my first." Damon could hear the sadness out of her voice. He hugged her closer and placed another kiss into her silky hair as he softly whispered, "I'm sorry". There was a brief moment of silence so he went on, "I'm sorry I left you. I should've been with you and never let you off my hand but I was too blind and too much of a coward to hold on to you." Bonnie moved a little and buried her head into Damon's chest.

For a few minutes, none of them said a word. Finally, Damon looked down at the girl and smiled. Bonnie had fallen asleep in his arms. Damon watched her peaceful face and listened to her melodic heartbeat until he also stepped into the land of dreams.

When Bonnie opened her eyes, Damon was in a deep sleep. Before she sat up, she gently kissed the vampire on his forehead as she caressed his black hair and face careful to not wake him up. When she felt herself strong enough, she quietly got out of the bed and quickly got dressed. The only sound in the little wooden house was the crackling of the fire.

Bonnie tightened the belt on her coat as she watched the guy of her dreams sleep. Tears rolled down her cheeks but she quickly wiped them away. What just happened between them was a huge mistake. She only hurts everybody with this.

Finally she turned her back on the bed as well as her past. She walked towards the door with barely a few steps taken to the door until she heard the floor make a cracking sound under her feet. She almost immediately heard the creak of the bed then Damon's voice.

"I don't know if you remember this but I am a vampire. You can't sneak out without me noticing." Bonnie closed her eyes then slowly faced Damon with teary eyes. She wanted to say something but the hurt expression on Damon's face was too much to bear. He asked her desperately, "Where are you going?" The question was useless because they both knew the answer. Bonnie stayed in silence and lowered her eyes. She felt sick and guilty because of what she was going to do.

Damon stepped closer to her and took her small hand. Bonnie looked into his dark eyes and tried not to choose the easiest way and look away.

"I want you to stay with me." Damon's voice was determined as he confessed those honest words to her. Bonnie had known this offer wasn't just for the night but forever. Damon wants her to choose him because he wants to be with her as much as he knows she wants to be with him. He wants her to make his mistake right. She slowly pulled her hand out of his hold as she answered with a crack in her voice, "I'm sorry" she whispered.

Damon silently watched as she walked out the door and knew he had lost her again and this time, she was less likely to come back.

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**I knooow, I'm sorry, I know I promised no more sad things! Please don't hate me! I'm planning Ed Sheran's Give me love for the next. What do you think? Any suggestion? **


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